Saturday, September 8, 2012

I Don't Care What You Think

[My dedication of this blog in its specific placement here and not where she would probably want it--as the first entry, before I even have a chance to impress any reader-- though non-referential in title, well, maybe only slightly, by chance or devine wisdom, is to my best English teacher, Mrs. Alice Doran, though she would wince to read it, and may yet wince. I present this dedication in the form of an essay, that shall, hopefully, remain ungraded. I dearly loved the commas that were never well received by her so I had and still have an abundence of them unused. So that is that.]

This essay is about...

my quest for an apology for the actions of a customer service representative at Tallapoosa River Electric Cooperative (which is a phrase I just cannot say enough, literally, Mrs. Doran, I cannot type it in my blog entries enough). This Tallapoosa River [etc-] rep hung up on me after saying to me: "I don't care what you think." And...yes, okay, I do actually feel guilty, because I said what first came to mind at that moment. The representative tripped herself up in her own logic and made a statement that completely contradicted an earlier statement. Following the moment where I pointed this out, and just after she reverted back to her original statement, mere seconds after her previous contradictory statement, I unfortunately said, "Then you are a liar" and, on top of the whole sundae, forgot to say "madam" afterwards. Oh, I do get so involved for seemingly no reason at all, well, besides the awful, awful electrical service to my small community of homes and the inherent danger caused by this irresponsibly bad service (my own opinion, but do not quote me, I pray you.) Someday I will outline my issues with (say it with me for the Google searchbot) Tallapoosa River Electric Cooperative, but for now, just understand that I later apologized for my "liar" remark and was refused an apology by a top level manager for the company's apparent opinion that they did not generally care what I thought, and I forcibly being a member of this cooperative, not by choice but by sheer luck of the draw and possibly I overlooked researching at least this one thing about my property to be. What a conundrum it was!

My only answer was to pelt them with my opinions, my added opinions, and yet more of my opinions in computer generated graphics that work their way up the ladder when one searches for "images" of "Tallapoosa River Electric Cooperative." I have attempted to serve these graphics like tennis balls for an invisible opponent. These metaphorical balls bounce off the back wall of the court, and exist for no apparent reason, other than freedom to have my opinions, and freedom to voice my opinions without being disconnected by a monopoly representative dressed up in "cooperative" costume. (Oh, and incidentally, I was eventually having fun writing utter nonsense and embedding my graphics.) Okay, okay, here is the serious part (ignore all that is within parentheses, I pray you) as I near conclusion. Seriously, TREC --yes I'm speaking with you again, despite our previous argument, Tallapoosa River Electric Cooperative --if you cooperated with the other electric company one block away which is providing my  neighbors with lighting when my own family's lights are rendered useless though purchased through capitalistic sourcing to function when darkness occurs, then the seemingly better company's power source would kick in when your apparently miserably ancient equipment fails.

So having thought all this through, for no apparent reason to them (or "aimlessly," by all standards TREC could possibly be capable of mindfully rendering,) I have decided that if electric power were really as important for them to provide as I feel it is for me to receive, then there would be in the state of existence an easily accomplished redundancy. "Well, then how would they bill if more than one power 'company' were able to provide you with power?" [paraphrased but probably only missed by a word or two] an Alabama Public Service Commission representative sincerely asked as I suggested the possibilty of redundancy where the wires met or crossed. She actually asked me this. She did not comprehend nor did I inform her of her unintended but complete irony. My answer was "I don't care what you think." :)   I actually did say that, and it does not deserve an emoticon, except for that I said it only in jest. She laughed loudly at the repitition of this line, so I wash myself of this matter. Subsequently, after my joke, I said that this was no doubt why God gave us computers and the Internet, with all those packets of data flying around, following multiple routes and testing lines ahead and shortest paths, ad-naseum. The reason God, or the Defense Department as is a more commonly known term to legislators, must have made the Internet was to teach us about redundancy. NASA learned to take the lesson to heart, why couldn't the great "electric company" also when it was my safety on the line? Crossed wires. I mean, stop reading Ayn Rand, for the love of God, literally, and cooperate.

[My second favorite English teacher, Mrs. Alice Doran, would probably almost definately not approve of my writing style, as would be her perogative. But it will remain this way from it's birth on and up until this blog will eventually cease as my life must cease. Dear reader, caught in the shuffle, happlessly and possibly aimlessly blundering into a blog entry influenced by the great master Lawrence Sterne, and not uncoincidentally, author of "Tristram Shandy," and incidentally my favorite English teacher, I feel for you, if you have reached this point, as you have. But for Mrs. Doran, if we only include those teachers from the century previous to the current, you were and probably still are the bomb, albeit not literally.]

One question though, Mrs. Doran. Please, in this parenthetical expression:
 (or "aimlessly," by all standards TREC could possibly be capable of mindfully rendering,)
would the comma not more mindfully be placed outside the parenthesis just for the purposes of readability?

For an honest recent essay, which is gradeable, if you are not biased by its religious and political subject matter:

by Michael DeVore